I've lost everything what I wanted to have. I'm defeated and probably this is all what I should write here.

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Part of me won't go away
Everyday reminded how much I hate it
Weighted against the consequences
Can't live without it so it's senseless
Wanna cut it out of my soul
And just live with a gaping hole
Take control of my life
And wash out all the burnt taste
I made the problems in the first place
Hang my head low cause it's part of me
You hardly see right next to the heart of me
Heard of me, the routine scar
New cuts cover where the old ones are
And now I'm sick of this
I can't stand the sandpaper thoughts that grate on my sanity
I rather not even be then the man that's staring in the mirror through me

Cut myself free willingly stop just what's killing me...
Cut myself free willingly stop just what's killing me...
Cut myself free willingly stop just what's killing me...
Cut myself free willingly stop just what's killing me!

I feel it everyday
I feel I made my way
I feel it swell up inside, swell up inside, swallowing me...

[Linkin Park - Part of me]

This is what I feel.